Dating and Relationship Coach
You’d be hard-pressed to find an aspect of our lives that hasn’t been touched by the pandemic, but dating and relationships has to be one of the most significant. Lockdowns and the inability to travel have made dating and maintaining relationships hard. And not only that, our social skills have suffered and felt the impact from two years of Zoom calls and not much else.
And that is why I am super excited to introduce you to Nicole Colantoni, a brilliant mind and coach who’s going to help pull Australian women to feel confident to date in a post-pandemic world.
Big call, you bet-cha.
Nicole Colantoni is a dating and relationship coach and the host of podcast, Single at Thirty — The Manual for the Modern Woman. Single at Thirty is quickly gaining traction and popularity for exposing the truths of dating as a Modern Woman. Nicole’s podcast has ranked No. 1 in Australia in its category and welcomed a long list of esteemed guests — from Chanel Contos to Samantha Wills and April Héléne-Horton, Nicole is helping her audience feel empowered to navigate life on their own terms without judgement. Each season she dives deep on ‘how to’ content, laying the foundations for topics such as ‘How to Stop Mistaking Attachment for Love’ and ‘How to Stop Obsessing Over the Ex’.
Nicole helps women successfully navigate dating and relationships. She explores topics such as how to stop obsessing over the ex, how to date without alcohol, moving forward after a breakup and how to stop mistaking attachment for love (plus much more!)
Let’s dive in to this interview.
Where did you grow up and how did your experience shape the person you are and the career that you are in today?
I grew up near Bondi Beach, Sydney until I was 18 years old. One of my close family members suffered from a serious mental condition. Observing the impact this had on the people around me served as the catalyst for my fascination with psychology as well as human behaviour and relationships. It also made me realise from a young age that I wanted to work in a role that could help people in this area.
What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a tiny Nicole?
I really enjoyed debating in school and always had a strong desire to help people so I wanted to be a criminal defence barrister when I grew up as I thought it would fun and rewarding to plead someone’s case in front of a judge. It wasn’t until after my work experience placement with a solicitor when I realised how much slower the legal system is in Australia compared to how cases are portrayed in American movies and television that I decided to consider other options.
Where did you go to High School and how was that experience for you?
I went to Kambala my entire schooling career and formed really amazing friendships with a group of women that I am fortunate enough to still have in my life today. Although I love to learn, I have never liked having to follow rules or be told what to do which often got me in a lot of trouble with my teachers but in retrospect some of my best memories and most influential lessons have come out of that chapter of my life.
Did your high school play an important role in helping you choose your further education and future career?
I was pretty directionless in high school. I had a lot of interests but wasn’t entirely sure which path to go down. I had a meeting with a careers advisor who helped me pick out my university preferences but aside from that it was only through trial and a lot of error that I was able to truly figure out who I was and what I wanted to do with my life.
Did you complete any internships or work experience placements in high school? Tell us about that experience.
In year 10 my friend from school and I did work experience with a solicitor. We spent the week driving around NSW to all the different courts observing various cases. A moment that I will never forget is when I was in a courtroom with a bunch of other female work experience students and the female judge instructed the male lawyers to look around the room and observe how “the future was female”. Even though that week I had already decided I wasn’t suited to law, it made me really proud to be part of a generation that was privileged enough to change the game.
Did you go to College, University, Tafe or another equivalent? Take us through the courses that you studied and why you chose them?
In my final year of school, I was really unsure about which university degree to choose from. I always really enjoyed writing but was equally interested in wanting to work in a role where I could directly connect with and help people. I thought psychology would be a good fit, but I was also well aware that maths and science were by no means my strong point!
My dad encouraged me to choose something broad knowing that I could specialise later in life, so I decided to enrol in a Bachelor of Arts in Communication (Writing and Cultural Studies) at the University of Technology, Sydney (UTS) where I excelled in the socio-political subjects. In my final year, I was offered the opportunity to become an honours candidate which I declined in favour of getting some real-life experience under my belt.
Almost a decade later and after a whirlwind experience across the corporate, creative, and start-up industries, I went on to complete my coaching certification through US based school Coach U and study Psychology online at Monash University.
Tell us about your career journey so far. Who you have worked for, and explain any highlights?
From the outset, my career journey has been more experimental than it has been conventional.
When I graduated from university, I was still unsure of what career path was suited to me. I knew I wanted to work in an industry that was actively making a positive impact on the world and the people in it, so I took on a role in an economics and governance consultancy firm where I managed projects designed to reduce poverty in emerging market economies. At the same time, I was approached to write an adaptation of a play that was later performed at the Seymour Centre.
When the play finished, I decided I wanted to pursue writing full-time and packed my bags and moved to Bali, Indonesia to work on a movie script with a friend who ended up becoming my business partner for a health and wellness start-up instead.
One of the main highlights took place shortly after the partnership didn’t work out and I ended up having an “aha” moment to study coaching and open my own practice. It felt as if I had finally figured out my “calling” in life. I worked in various part and full-time corporate roles to make ends meet while I would hustle after hours and on weekends to get my coaching certificate and gain experience.
The most recent career highlight since then has been interviewing inspiring guests and building a community of empowered modern women through my podcast Single at Thirty: The Manual for the Modern Woman.
How did you get into the job that you are in now?
I started my coaching career as a life and mindset coach and decided to specialise as a dating and relationship coach shortly after the launch of my podcast Single at Thirty (SAT). SAT started out as the ‘how-to’ for the Modern Woman and has now evolved into a community that not only airs the truth and reality of being a woman in this day and age but also challenges norms and expectations when it comes to dating and relationships.
After each episode aired, I would receive hundreds of messages from listeners who would reach out to me with questions and concerns about their love life and I quickly realised this was an area in which women needed coaching in.
The hardest part of my current job is having to juggle coaching and the podcast without having a business partner to confide in or bounce ideas off of. Although it is really exciting doing it on my own, there is definitely merit in having someone to share the obstacles and milestones with.
What does a day a typical business day look like for you in your current job?
No two days are ever the same however my time is usually split between coaching clients and preparing for the next season of the Single at Thirty podcast whether that be researching guests, writing content or recording in the studio. I usually start the day no later than 7am with a coffee and try to meditate, read or listen to a podcast, and work out either on my own or with my PT at least once. As of recent, I’ve been trying to work on improving my unwind process but as I’m a night owl I usually work up until bedtime unless I have a social engagement on or a meditation class to attend.
Who has been your hero, or greatest inspiration growing up and why?
My dad is my greatest inspiration because he has the most integrity out of anyone I know, and he taught me from a young age to always choose curiosity and courage over comfort and the familiar because the life I want exists if I’m willing to give it my all to create it.
What advice would you give girls who are interested in your career?
The advice I would give is to seek out and surround yourself with people who not only encourage you to grow but can help make your dream a reality, and never doubt yourself or give up because you can achieve anything with the right mindset.
List the most valuable resources that you turn to constantly for inspiration in your profession?
- Favourite Websites: Sessions with Esther Perel and TED
- Name an Instagram Account that you can’t go a day without checking: The Holistic Psychologist
- Favourite Podcast: Call Her Daddy
- Favourite Netflix/Stan/ Series: The Queen’s Gambit
- Who is your mentor? (This can be a person you follow for advice or an IRL person). My dad
- Favourite all-time book/s: Mindset by Carol Dweck & Late Bloomers by Rich Karlgaard
- Favourite App that you use every day: Apple Podcasts